musings from the west

The dust in here is thick

2006-09-27T12:49:00.000-07:00

Gross. Cobwebs and worse dominate this abandoned attic of my thoughts, and it will take time, effort, and some serious willpower to clean it out.

Although I have been absent in the blogosphere (at least this neighborhood of it) I haven't been completely out of touch, and I doubt the following will be news to anybody, but I feel compelled to write it anyway.

It has been nine months, give or take, since the last time I posted to this blog. I suppose I just needed some hibernation, or insulation, or maybe it was just good ol' fashioned laziness. Some things have changed in my life, many have remained steady, and new surprises do seem in store a little down the river. At the time of my last post, I was just discovering a surprising love of mathematics. The following semester I convinced my calculus professor to teach me and some other ambitious students some real mathematics. It was a modern algebra class, and I was blown away. I was considering getting a second bachelor's degree in mathematics, because it would have been possible to do it in three (albeit maddening) semesters. After getting a grasp of what serious high level mathematics does to one's psyche, however, I thought better of that idea. Something about spending so much concentration on concepts completely removed from anything remotely tangible gives you some sort of neurological tendonitis; this is why so many mathematicians go mad. So anyway, an epiphany materialized. If I became a very talented research biologist, I would bash my head against walls trying to convince reticent policymakers to enact some meaningful standards based on all of this wonderful data I discovered. So it looks like it's law school, folks. Environmentally flavored law school. Maybe with a dash of a master's degree in environmental policy or management. That, however, is a good distance in the future. There a few more classes I would like to take to make myself a little more competitive, and Brandyn and I would really like to do a stint in the Peace Corps.

So here we are. 1:31pm on 9/27/06. Less than two months until the midterm elections. I am at work, at my meaningless, soulless, well-paying corporate job. Brandyn works her meaningless, soulless, well-paying corporate job across the street, which is a pretty excellent situation (the proximity, not the soullessness). After work today I will go to chemistry and be lectured to by an old former soviet chemist whose command of the English language is less than comprehensive, while Brandyn may or may not attempt to work on some pottery (she hurt her hand on the trapeze last weekend). Then I'll get up early and come back here, to the job, then to the gym, and then go to economics and be lectured at by a very aggressive African man. Then I'll get up early and come back to work. Rinse and repeat.

Keep your fingers crossed, maybe I'll post again.

And so I may return...

2005-11-23T16:25:00.000-08:00

Please forgive my lengthy respite. I have no excuse.

Today ended my first ten-day run as a high school english teacher. Visualize, if you will, the scenario I have landed myself in. Do you remember what happened when there was a sub? Bad things. I remember in the ninth grade, in French class to be specific, a sub put on a movie for us to watch. Several resourceful students stole the remote and wreaked havoc on the next 45 minutes of that poor sub's life. Every time that she would walk away the movie would pause or rewind, all controlled by a inconspicuous contraband remote.

Such is my life these days. Through this experience I have reached several conclusions that may prove benefitial to society if implemented.

Firstly, not every high school student should be forced to learn to read complex literature critically, or perform intricate algebraic manipulation. Students should have the option of learning trades. While no willing student should be excluded, all defiant students must be removed. Every single defiant and distruptive student ruins the education of dozens of quiet, hardworking peers with distracting shenanigans. If they don't want to think they should be learning to fix cars.

Second, there should be a public high school admissions process. An eighth grade exit exam, followed my careful placement would help alleviate the above problems. Not everyone should go to college, contrary to popular belief. There is nothing disrespectful in working hard, and many suffering trades do not require higher education.

Thirdly, kids need to unplug their darn selves and read. Students have all sorts of electronic communication and media devices on their person at school. They constantly ask to listen to music. They 'text' rampantly, but cannot focus enough to get through twenty pages of a well written story. Many have no ability to concentrate because of total media and commercial saturation. America needs to wake up to the fact that pandering to the teenage market is simply unethical.

End of rant.

On to the topic of further edumacation for myself, I have no idea what I am doing. I have given a lot of thought to the PhD recently, and my brain slowly curdles at the idea of devoting my entire life to something specific. While I remain magnetized by life's little mysteries (like why do ants always hi-five each other) devoting myself to the rather dry and impotent world of the biological ivory tower may prove to drive me insane. The price of teaching, perhaps, is that insanity.

Stay tuned. I am pretty into mathematics these days.

California is on fire again...

2005-09-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

Stepping outside my house this morning was remarkably bizarre. Aside from the tangible absence of one darling Miss DeCecco, the weather was all wrong. Every morning for the past month or so has been cold and wet. (Let it be known that from now on when I refer to cold it is California cold, i.e. middle 40s) Heavy dew perches on countless green leaves, and while the decidous trees have been stealthily changing color, and occasionally and in poignant fashion falling, there is no indication that it is Autumn.

Well, that all changed this morning.

The air was bone dry. No humidity at all. And while the wind here is usually cool and from the southwest, from over the ocean, this wind was hot and from the east. Blowing as if it were a storm, too, hard wind. I softly hoped that there would be no fire, as the southern third of this state is little more than several million square miles of kindling, but to no avail. As lunchtime approached, northern Moorpark had caught fire. Soon after one in Chatsworth followed, and a third caught in Simi Valley. The highways were closed, housing developments evacuated, college classes cancelled. The last I heard it was 5% contained.

My calculus exam, however, will just have to wait for another day.

Brandyn has left me all alone so she can go volunteer for the Red Cross, helping people who lost everything in Katrina, forcing me to wake myself up in the morning, make all my own meals, and even sleep alone. Can you believe the nerve and selfishness of some people. Sheesh.

Last I heard, the shock-haired beauty was en route from Montgomery, AL to Monticello, MS where she will be doing something to be helpful. She has met some nice people, one of whom has ferns tatooed on her feet as well! She will be doing stuff, and that stuff will help. Sorry folks, that's all I got. It was a pretty quick phone call.

Dan, I heard about your meeting for people who want to make beautiful things. How I wish I could attend. Best of luck.

Today was a great day to be an American. May Tom Delay rot in prison.

Steamroll

2005-09-07T14:44:00.000-07:00

I just haven't been up to blogging since this whole disaster happened. I have been reading a whole plethora of blogs, many of which have brilliant things to say. I am just so unbelievably frustrated with our government, and even more unbelievably frustrated with the unnervingly large slice of the population who will bang the drums of war for anything the administration says, and for the braindead corporate media literally spouting lies.

Anyway, Brandyn and I are going to a Red Cross orientation for potential deployment. I don't really know what that means, but we both feel kinda helpless, and I gotta follow my soul on this one. I might be able to begin substitute teaching next week, and the Apple store is breathing down my throat to hire me, and my classes are going well...who's to say what's right.

Hope everyone is well in Chicago. I have been calling people, but to no avail.

I miss everyone.

Harmony of the spheres.

2005-08-31T11:47:00.000-07:00

This is an animation of the ocean temperature and satellite storm activity over the past couple months. It ends with Katrina slamming into the south. What suprised me was the harmony and repetitiveness to the weather patterns, not unlike a minimalist symphony, with a timpani roll of a hurricane every few weeks crashing across the gulf.

Here's the link.

I cannot believe this is happening.

2005-08-30T12:41:00.000-07:00

Regular local updates regarding the nightmare unfolding in New Orleans.

Tom Watson can write well.

2005-08-29T15:33:00.000-07:00

Wow. Chicago. Words fail me. I miss you all already.

There is a new blog up at manifesttheatre.org. Email me at nicholasgeorg at gmail dot com, and I'll send you an invitation, then you can invite others and post as much as you want. Start a blog of your own in addition, if you like. I put something interesting up that I saw on Linkfilter about bees.

And while you're at it, read this, and weep.

Check this out...

2005-08-19T15:24:00.000-07:00

This is an example of some fantastic guerilla journalism:

Mary Fowler, 54, Housekeeper

Why do you think gas prices are so high?
From what I've read, they say it's because of the Iraq war. I've also read about alternatives to gas and even automobiles that use alternatives, but for some reason, the big oil companies bought up the patents for that, so it's not just the Iraq war and it's not President Bush's fault. He gets blamed for everything, but it's not his fault. It's just greed from other people. I feel like the president is doing everything he can to help.
Like what?
For one thing, he is protecting our country by being in Iraq. We can't pull out too soon because they'll think we're chicken and they'll try to attack us again. We can't pull out until they're able to fend for themselves. Those who are strong are supposed to help those who are weak. We are strong and we're that way for a reason. We've always been peacemakers. As long as we keep the peace, we'll be blessed.
So you believe we're acting as peacemakers in Iraq?
Yes and we're protecting the innocent. Muslims want to rule the world. They want to take over the whole world. That's their evil purpose.
...
I've interviewed a lot of people on this trip and while they want freedom of religion, none have said they want to take god away.
When they first started the country, those that didn't believe in Jesus were put in jail. Once a country is dedicated to god and founded on its principles, it has to stay that way.
What issues are most important to you?
Getting the right Supreme Court Justice in you. I want god back in the schools. They kick god out of schools and they wonder why we have drugs and sex in the schools.
(At this point in our conversation, a gas attendant approached me and said I couldn't interview people without permission from the corporate office. I took a photo of Mary and her Bible sticker and went on my way.)

Check out the whole thing here.

Hmmm....

2005-08-11T12:15:00.000-07:00

This is interesting:

"There clearly is a desperate need for professionals who are conservationists by instinct, but who care not only to preserve but to create and manage. These persons cannot be impeccable scientists for such purity would immobilize them. They must be workmen who are instinctively interested in the physical and biological sciences, and who seek this information so that they may obtain the license to interpose their creative skills upon the land. The landscape architect meets these requirements." -Ian McHarg, FASLA

Hmmmmm......

Geologic Time

2005-08-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

I know, I post as often as Noam Chomsky. I just can't bring myself to blather about the little things in life. I prefer to let them dissolve into a coherent narrative, but that is not the point of journaling in public like this.

Well, the first bit of news is that the bird is most definately a Northen Mockingbird. Mimus polyglottos, that wiley, mocking bastard mocks me at every turn. I should've known. Elsewhere in the backyard, the tomato plants are getting ripe, and the oranges were a little funky this year, many are hard and green regardless of how long they spent on the branch. Brandyn and I have a brand new tradition (there has only been one instance, truth be told, but it feels like it's got the makings of tradition all over it) of going to the farmer's market on Thursday evenings. My goodness. Fresh fish caught yesterday, mountains of succulent produce, and the most magical orchids I have ever seen. I think that Heaven itself might be a farmer's market.

I am at work, and I am doing quotes for some speakers and lights. Blah.

Brandyn and I picked out our fish over the weekend, but our aquarium water failed the test miserably. I blame George W. Bush. The fish is so cool though, he is a goldfish with a big brain head thing. And he has manservants, two jawless little eel things. And I want a snail.

Ok. I gotta work. More later. Sorry about all the dumb links.

muchos apologies

2005-07-24T14:50:00.000-07:00

So sorry, dear readers. I just haven't had the heart to really post anything, although I have been somewhat active over at Kos. Last night I struck a set until three in the morning, at which time the staff snuck into the secret beer closet and enjoyed the early morning moon. Which was really beautiful last night. Brandyn went to LA to see Bonnie, and kept trying to talk to me at eight this morning, but I wasn't having it. Too bad, champagne brunch sounds really good about now.

I had my metabolism checked this week. If I just sit on a couch watching movies or reading, I'll burn 1730 calories. So, with the physical activity I normally partake in (did I mention my job is manual labor?) I need to eat approximately 5000 In-n-Out Burgers every day to gain weight. I've already eaten 2783 today. These last 2217 are gonna hurt, let me tell you.

Brandyn and I finally went to the beach the other evening, and it was such a subtle massage. The water was cool, as opposed to painfully frigid, and the stars on the horizon were sharp and bright, the clouds soaked with thick colored sunlight. I had forgotten, even for a week or two, how magical, powerful, and just plain moving the ocean is. If you want to see some pretty neat stuff check out the Woods Hole site. I really want to go to school there. Unbelievable the stuff those people do. The other night I read about a student mapping out the ocean floor underneath the North Pole. He found a bunch of volcanoes that no one knew existed, complete with crazy ecosystems. But he doesn't really care about the bizarre squid colonies, because he is a geologist, not an ecologist, leaving that biological treasure trove for somebody else to explore. Like me.

Hard-Boiled Wonderland and The End of the World was fantastic. I think Mason and Dixon may be next. Or maybe round three of Infinite Jest. Not quite sure. Off to the library.

I miss you all. I'll be in Chicago in a few weeks.

Working for the city...

2005-07-18T20:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I worked eight hours. I moved a flag and a table.

Californian tax dollars at work.

I am losing my mind

2005-07-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

This whole Karl Rove Treason Plame Wilson Novak Cooper Yellowcake Miller nightmare is driving me up the walls. I keep reading both sides and their respective talking points, and I need to stop. I'll lose my mind. I would love to see Rove in prison, though. No doubt about that.

So, you all most likely read of our fitness adventure over on Brandyn's blog. It's pretty fantastic. And the mustache is in order, although I think I'll wait until it is majestic enough to really stun my personal trainer. Hehehehe. The weather has been hot, but still climbing, and I have been eager to surf, but all things in time. Hopefully I can work consistently for Scott, and buy a surfboard in a month or so. These first couple paychecks need to go to the trip to Chicago, and settling various accounts there (although somewhere in there was some copier-mondo money, but I'm sure it's all a wash) and paying off a really sweet credit card bill, but after that it's all surfboard and savings. I can't wait to be a high school sub. I am going to be fantastic. I also have an appointment to interview at the Civic Arts Plaza. So it looks like my semi-permanent employment sitution is Substitute Teacher/ME for the Theatre on the Hill/Electrician for Civic Arts Plaza. Yeehah.

I think I am going to take a statistics class in the fall, but I'm not entirely sure.

Well, I am off to get a table for our fishtank which is going to be amazing. We found an entire fishtank in the garage, complete with stuff, so we upgraded the filter and are filtering the water for a week or two before we add any fish. Any suggestions? We can either have 1, maybe 2 goldfish, or a handful of little tropical fish. We also want a lot of aquatic plants. I found some miniature freshwater sharks that were pretty cool as well. If we get a goldfish we are going to get a Black Moor goldfish.

Off to the day. Hope all is well.

link o' the day

2005-07-13T19:05:00.000-07:00

You should check this website every time you use the internet. It is the future of progressive politics in America.

I have so many things to blather about but first I must clean the house and work for a few hours and hook up the fast internet that just came in the post (which is indeed ironic) and then I will tell you all of the advancements B and I have made. We are fantastic humans.

I miss you all so much.

wowsers and wall-poppin

2005-07-10T12:33:00.000-07:00

Setting up a gallery would be fantastic except for the artists. It's remarkably like a bleached and bathed Mondo, except replace the ratty hipster artists with senior citizens making mediocre sculpture and fiber art. Some of it is ok; I couldn't be happier that these people are making art in their spare time. I think everyone should be making art in their spare time. But wow, do these folks take themselves seriously, and they treat me like an ignoramus for not holding their hand while they decide if this piece needs to move to the left a few inches.

So it's an art show morning (they are already an hour over their scheduled time, and no hint of wrapping up anytime soon) and another string concert evening, with an afternoon of cleaning a nuclear testing zone of a tech booth. At least I am at work, and at least I can command a little respect. There is a nest of baby woodpeckers outside, and the air is dry and from the western sea, which incidentally must be warming by the day. The period away from the ocean has been the longest yet, and hopefully that will be soon fixed. Brandyn and I intended to go yesterday, but got caught up in a splendid walk and some documentary film watching. We also saw a fantastic panel on CSPAN with Bill Clinton and Ted Turner discussing energy policy and climate change. I love Bill Clinton.

Read Wolcott if you haven't been. He's on fire this week.

the theatre on the hill

2005-07-08T18:27:00.000-07:00

I am becoming once again accustomed to the office of the Arts Council of the Conejo Valley, my high school haunt. In true twilight zone fashion, the building is completely changed, yet the institution and all of its inhabitants remain the same. Some people have come and gone, and many are considerably older, but the overall feeling is nearly identical. The new building (this is the center where we performed the hospital play) is considerably more sterile than the old Janss house of my youth, and there are many more turns and twists in this maze of offices and computers and desks. The old center was only the Arts Council, this is the entire Recreation and Parks district, so there are all sorts of boss-monsters roaming the folded tunnels, just waiting to yell at somebody to yell at somebody to yell at somebody. But it is comfortable like an old stinky pair of sneakers, grey, tattered, and doodled upon with the imagination of a sixteen year old boy.

Today I cleared out the theatre and readied it for a children's string concert. At this moment I can faintly hear "ode to joy" vibrating through the plaster behind this rather futuristic flatscreen computer monitor, and it is truly astounding that sonic glow of nearly two hundred year old music in the hands of eleven year olds can affect me as strongly as it did just now.

It seems that this might be a steady job, at least until the end of the summer, when I visit Chicago and return with the hopes of working as a substitute teacher. I am taking the CBEST test in August, and assuming I do well I should be able to work pretty steadily as a sub. $100 a day isn't to bad, and it'll be nice to have some more teaching experience.

I am starting to set my goal crosshairs on another PhD program, this one being at Woods Hole oceanographic Institute/MIT. Might as well set the goals high, but if I can really excel at an MS, and more importantly do some good work (aka being published) it isn't inaccessible.

I am currently reading 'Master and Commander', 'Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World', an ecology textbook, a precalculus text, an evolutionary biology text, and the Earthsea books. My mind is nourished.

I gotta work. I'll post more later.

breaking news

2005-07-04T23:41:00.000-07:00

we think it may be an olive-sided flycatcher. not a western pewee.
if any new devolpments occur which lead us to change our minds you will be the first to know.
no wait.....the bird will be the first to know.
no wait....the bird already knows what it is. i don't think it gives a damn if we think it's a pewee or a flycatcher or a llama.
or does it?
hmmmmm......

Comments

2005-07-03T13:52:00.000-07:00

I don't know if anyone has been trying to comment, but I just enabled them. They had been turned off somehow. Please comment all the time, they get emailed to me, and then I know that you care. I miss everyone.

Hollywood forestry

2005-07-03T13:26:00.000-07:00

So. B and I are housesitting for some friends, and staying here in the aorta of culture itself, Hollywood. Last night we sat around with Bill and played '1313 Deadend Drive," a truly thrilling gaming experience. It is most likely intended for five-year-olds, but we sure managed to have a blast. I won. We also dined on some real quality Japanese food with shocking frugality. No stars, lots of homosextuality, and just a couple ounces too much cool. Kinda nice to be in a city again.

So I signed on to run followspot and help out with electrics for the Young Artists Ensemble's summer musical, Guys and Dolls. Yahoo. It pays pretty well, and I have no responsibility, which in a theatre is pretty rare for me, and it ends at the end of the month. So, looking for more stable work, but if I am to return to the windy city in the dusky August sun it may prove somewhat difficult. CBESTs are in August as well, and I need to take it in order to substitute teach in the fall. I like teaching.

I have narrowed five potential reseach interests: 1) Kelp Forest Ecology, 2) Temperate Rain Forest Ecology, 3) Biodiversity of Polar Ecosystems, 4) Evolutionary Biology of Nudibranchs and Sea Hares, 5) Avian Biology and Behavior.

Thrilling, I know.

passion in paradise

2005-06-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

nicholas hasn't written in far too long and instead of doing it himself he told me to write it for him. this is called laziness. but i have obligingly obliged because of the nice girlfriend that i am. scruffy is dozing, some distant weed-eater is droning and nick is lounging whilst reading a philosophy book called "the wisdom of insecurity for the age of anxiety." the first thing i did when i picked the book up last night was to check the title page for the publishing date. apparantly, 1950's america was an age of anxiety. hmmm.....i had a rather different idea of the 50's. one that included more jello moulds and door to door salesmen. but i guess that's why i'm not a philosopher.
yesterday we started dismantling georgia's old room---which was no small feat. that place is a perfect museum of dust and clutter and ripe with the smell of high-school memories. we took posters off the walls, we hid secrets in drawers, we scrubbed and polished. susanne seems to think georgia may not be as keen on the new look as we are. uh oh.
sunny california is getting sunnier by the day which i enjoy. i want it to get hot enough where i actually want to hang out on the beach in a bathing suit instead of jeans and a jumper. the tomato plants in the back are shooting up and shooting out small yellow flowers that smell like salad. nick thinks the mysterious bird visitor that flaunts himself almost daily in the tall tree beyond the fence is a western wood- pewee. birds have some pretty poetic names. we were just yesterday discussing the ecstatic life of an imaginary orinthologist who exclusively studies the bush tit. and what his business cards must look like.
tonight the two of us are going to a habitat for humanity green building meeting. we have signed up as volunteers to help research green building techniques and meet with builders and designers who try and implement these practices. should be good.
nick just walked out of the room---but not before he sent a loud vicious fart my way. and your way too.
goodbye

Padoodle

2005-06-20T13:54:00.000-07:00

There is nothing quite like Scruffy the dog when she feels like barking all day, every day. Certainly we are about to be pounded by an earthquake out here in the southern sun.

I went to the ocean the other day after taking Bill home from the airport. Burbank was gross, as always, a true armpit that hasn't been opened in far too long. Traffic was gross. LA was gross. Bill was in good spirits, and we tried and failed to see the new Batman movie. Hollywood on a Saturday afternoon is fully loaded with filmgoers. Almost cartoonishly so. Anyway, I drove out of LA is stinking traffic, only to get as far as county line before getting a call from Bill that his work clothes were in my trunk. Amazing. So I drove back to LA in the stinking traffic only to drive out again in very stinky traffic. Oh man. Stink. Anywhoo....

I went to El Matador. The tide was ebbing for the first time (California has mostly mixed semidiurnal tides, with two high tides of succeeding size) in the day, and I watched the leaf barnacles feed. Most people were sunbathing or playing beach tennis, but I couldn't get enough of these barnacles. They look like alien flowers, a stalk with a cluster of white toothlike plates at the tip. There are six interlocking white plates, and when they open to feed they extend their six pairs of legs out into the water to sift for food. The legs are chocolate brown and look more like feathers than legs. All barnacles are sort of like crabs who have glued their back to a rock (or a whale for that matter) and they wiggle their legs around to find food. There was a whole garden of them, probably more than ten. When I'd touch them they would pull back, but inquisitively come back out almost immediately.

I've decided to get a Master's degree. I am going to go to a small laboratory on the coast, in between Santa Cruz and Monterey. It's called Moss Landing Marine Lab. It's really really cheap, and it'll only take a year or two. I'm in no real rush, but I'm going to try for next year, or the year after. I don't know. My plans change every few minutes.

2005-06-16T20:09:00.000-07:00

Hey all. I finally got this program up and running to post pictures, and this is Brandyn with a Blue Whale. Or what used to be a whale at least. This is in front of the Long Marine Lab, where the ecology and evolutionary biology program at UCSC is located.

Another June, another year...

2005-06-09T22:56:00.000-07:00

What a crazy year. Hard to imagine, a year ago, Brandyn freshly immersed in China, Emily in Ghana, some really intense tea in the fridge and a smelly closet. Dan preparing to move, Katie and Ora, working at the Goodman, smoking hookah while drinking tea during the Democratic National Convention. I was climbing often, and regular yoga was making me feel amazing everyday.

So here I am now, a year having been typed up, haphazardly organized and misplaced amongst the dirty laundry. I am not as regular with my yoga. I am not as fit. I do not ride a bicycle regularly, or skateboard, or climb, or even really walk for that matter. I am much better about living in an organized fashion, my clothes are hung and folded, neat and clean. I am learning so much. My brain feels better than it has in years. I am finding my pre-college self, that gangly long-haired scholastic anarchist, and I am rebuilding him very carefully, and very well. The ocean is recharging my soul, so drained from the spreading rust and endless brick. Brandyn and I are together, and happy that way. I am surrounded by far fewer people, and that feels welcome. I miss everyone I know, and sometimes I think that I am so unbelievably depressed, but then it clears and I know that I have so much life that I shouldn't waste any of it thinking crap like this, and I remember that I love all of my Chicago friends, and while I miss them terribly it feels good to wonder at what future endeavors will bring, and friends like that will never fade. I can't imagine it.

Nooooooo!

2005-06-01T20:55:00.000-07:00

I just do not understand how his majesty George Lucas could have possibly imagined that Darth Vader howling an affected, frankensteinian, emotionless, goofy "Nooooooooo!" would play to his (Vader's) emotional credit. I just don't understand.

Periodic absences are natural, aren't they...

2005-05-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

Forgive my recent reticence to blog, I just haven't felt inspired. I do hope that someone somewhere reads this, because if there is anything that I hate being masturbatory about it is the proclamation of personal minutia; I have plenty of journals for that. I have been somewhat sad these past few days, a combination of longings for Chicago and Brandyn is the most likely offender. Strange to miss both at once, historically it has always been a one-or-the-other sort of situation.

In happier news, I scored a 98 on my first marine biology exam. Hooray for me. I really like marine science, especially tiny organisms. I didn't expect to find a real interest is bacteria, or algae, but they are pretty fascinating. Not to mention that I bet there are bizzare microscopic parasites on the whiskers of great white sharks that we will never be able to get close enough to study. So many questions waiting for experiments that are waiting to be thought up.

I recently stumbled across a really neat little definition of graduate school. The process of achieving a PhD is the metamorphosis between one who seeks knowledge and one who creates it. I found that to be really interesting and inspiring. I think that it is a path that I want to take, but not for a while. I need to learn much about the world before I will be ready to throw myself into that terrible wonderland. And I really miss Chicago, and I really miss my friends, and I really miss our dreams together.

This is neat...

2005-05-24T16:35:00.000-07:00

For everyone who has always been dying to know, it turns out that jellyfish (or sea jellies, as scientists slowly adapt their goofy lexicon) are incredibly close relatives of coral, as in coral reefs. They are both of the phylum Cnidaria. I think that it is totally wild that the such a wispy delicate creature and such a living rock are not only related, but quite similar animals. After all, both live in colonies, and really a piece of coral is thousands of little polyps with tiny fan arm mouth things trying to grab and eat things, just like jellyfish. Ahhh, marine life, what weird and violent little critters.

Day of reckoning...

2005-05-22T21:07:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow begins round two of college. Wish me luck.

Shouting into the void...

2005-05-22T12:29:00.000-07:00

I wonder if anyone that I know has even looked at this website. It doesn't matter to much, interested parties will find it eventually, but it seems sort of weird to speak into a void.

I saw Star Wars yesterday. Sweet in my opinion. The dialogue is as gripping as grease and the acting is disgusting, but Darth Vader cutting down children with a light saber is about as honest as Star Wars can be. Well concluded. Oh yeah, and the Narnia trailer brought me to tears.

Bill and I are Go masters. I lead five games to four, but Bill has the first move next game, and I think he'll squash me. As soon as I can get a faster internet connection I'll post some pictures of the completed games. They are very interesting and beautiful looking.

I miss Brandyn.

Lack of a better half...

2005-05-20T21:35:00.000-07:00

It is very strange to be alone after weeks of sharing nearly every second, both waking and dreaming, with another. The feeling itself is remarkably not unlike the sensation that arises betwixt the driveway and the airport when you are leaving for a length of time, that you had to have forgotten something but know that you won't remember what it is until you need it. Or perhaps is merely the fact that I am remarkably alone, and really, the only words I have spoken today have been of in inquisitory nature and directed at total strangers, either seeking employment or information. Bizarre it is.

It is time for tea and a Japanese avant garde film. I hope exitement so grand may find all on this fine friday.

Greener pastures in all directions...

2005-05-18T12:36:00.000-07:00

I spoke with Michelle a little bit ago, and asked about the Wicker Park Project, and as is to be expected felt quite hollow about not being involved. I am so filled with joy at it's success and so glad that civilians are affected positively by it. While I myself am sad to not be involved (although it is neat to imagine a mastodon puppet that I somewhat germinated yet have never seen tromping about) I find peace in knowing that I would most likely have been a very negative and counter-productive force in these crucial last weeks, and the sea-air, the green, and most importantly the drive to learn I feel here all cement my belief that I have made the right decision for myself. And that feels grounding, if nothing else.

Brandyn and I walked out of the libray last night laden like llamas crossing the Andes. Among our spoils are an exellent biology textbook which I am reading as if it were a gripping novel (and I am even diligently answering all the questions at the end of the chapters) and 'Instant Japanese!', a real romp of of language book that purports to teach us Japanese instantly! Seems to be working too. Hajimemashite. Nicholas desu. Watashitachi wa Tokyo ni ikimasu.

Brandyn just made me rub rotten chimoya on my face. She also just confessed that sometimes she imagines mashing up bananas on her face. Imagine that, Riley. I think its grosser than diapers too. Have to admit that the face post-chimoya feels pretty amazing.

I am waiting on hearing back from a million and one jobs. The coolest are the guitar amp one I mentioned in an earlier post, and another converting old movies to 3d. The 3d movie job I can't do until my marine science class ends in late june, but it seems pretty cool and the pay is decent. I think that I am going to go spend the afternoon at the beach, and hopefully meet up with Bill later today. Brandyn leaves for Austin tomorrow, and we are going to try to spend the night at Bill's to make the commute a little less hellish in the morning.

Write your senators. Remind them that Republicans blocked 60 of Clinton's nominees, and that only 10 of Bush's have been blocked.

Come on in, the weather's fine...

2005-05-16T22:51:00.000-07:00

And so we have arrived, safe and not quite sound, in bucolic Moorpark, to live this next chapter of our lives. Things are as they always are here, white pickup trucks blare terrible music, the hills have faded from green to gold, and the weather is always just perfect. The ocean is more magnificent than I remember. In Ventura and off the coast of the Santa Monica Mountains the Pacific is a stolid grey-green, but ten leagues north off the coast of Santa Barbara she is twinkling sapphire blue. And a days drive north from there, in Carmel-by-the-Sea, the ocean is clear, and turquoise on the breaks, and if it weren’t as cold as Lake Michigan it would seem as if you were in Hawaii.

The sound of the sea was forgotten as well. Several days prior to my departure from the windy city I stopped by DePaul’s art gallery, and I found an exhibit of Palestinian contemporary art. One piece that struck me in particular were a set of a dozen or so ‘headphones’ each made from a pair of near identical seashells, set together on a band of copper wire. The idea was to wear the ‘headphones’ and find solace in the sound of the crashing waves. Well, I heard no such thing. I heard an organic static, if anything, and was rather disappointed with the product regardless of my respect and admiration for the idea. When I sat on the beach at Carmel, however, I realized that I was wrong about the headphones. The waves do not crash, one after another, as I had imagined. They overlap to form a rather uniform and steady noise, undulating but relentless. Perhaps that persistence is what the artist had in mind.

The professor I spoke with at UC Santa Cruz was very encouraging about my interest in pursuing a career as a marine scientist. He as well as several of his colleagues had studied the arts in their undergraduate education, and he said that the field welcomes ‘migrants’ such as myself. He also warned against taking too many classes at the community college, as the course of study in population ecology and systematics that interests me is so unrelated to sub-organismal biology that I will become bored and disillusioned by rote introductory biology classes. He advised me to crush the GRE, especially the quantitative section, and to volunteer for some scientists in Santa Barbara. Bill and I are trying to outdo each other on the GRE, and I am trying to line up a trip with a few scientists for the fall.

It is ten-thirty in the evening, and it is past my bedtime of these days. I am registered for ‘Marine Life and its Environment’ class at Moorpark College, which is scheduled to begin this coming Monday at the grueling schedule of 11am-5pm Monday through Thursday. I am also up for a job from a temp agency which pays $16 to $20 an hour to work at a guitar amplifier manufacturer. I do not know if I will be able to take that job as well as the class, and I honestly do not know which option is a better occupier of my time. In order to volunteer for any of the marine biologists working around here one must hold a Rescue Diver certification, and that is no cheap venture. It is comparable in both price and time to the SOLO program in New Hampshire. We shall see.

So that concludes my first entry. Goodnight.